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Writer's pictureDemetrius Colbert

Look for what you need and not what you want

Are You a Victim of Your Circle of Influence or a Beneficiary of Your Dreams?

Most people live their lives dictated by the influence of those around them rather than actively pursuing their dreams. They become victims of their circle of influence, shaping their decisions, beliefs, and aspirations to fit into the expectations of family, friends, or society. Instead of moving toward the vision of the life they truly desire, they often settle for what seems safe, familiar, or “normal” based on the people they surround themselves with. But what if we flipped the script? What if you could break free from those influences and become a beneficiary of your dreams?

In this post, we’ll explore how your circle of influence can hold you back, and how shifting your mindset and environment can allow you to pursue the life you’ve always envisioned.

1. How Your Circle of Influence Shapes You

Your circle of influence includes the people you interact with regularly—family, friends, colleagues, and even the media you consume. Whether you realize it or not, this circle profoundly affects your beliefs, habits, and life choices. Jim Rohn famously said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with,” highlighting how the mindset, attitudes, and actions of those closest to you have a strong pull on your behavior.

When you spend time with people who are stuck in mediocrity, it’s easy to absorb their limitations. If the people around you prioritize security over growth, you might find yourself settling for a job you don’t love because it’s what everyone else does. If your friends avoid risks and play it safe, you might ignore your entrepreneurial dreams or creative aspirations out of fear of failure or rejection. Your circle can either fuel your ambitions or make you doubt them.

Over time, without realizing it, you might trade your dreams for the safety net of conformity, becoming a victim of the expectations, fears, and limitations of your circle.

2. Why Dreams Often Get Pushed Aside

Dreams are inherently personal and unique. They often require taking risks, challenging the status quo, and stepping outside of comfort zones. Unfortunately, most circles of influence are not equipped to nurture that. Instead, they condition people to fit in, to play it safe, and to follow a more predictable path.

Here are a few reasons why people tend to push their dreams aside:

  • Fear of Judgment: People often suppress their dreams because they fear being judged or misunderstood by those closest to them. If your dream doesn’t align with what’s “normal” for your circle, you might face resistance, criticism, or even outright rejection.

  • Comfort in Familiarity: Human beings are creatures of habit. We find comfort in what is familiar, even if it’s unfulfilling. Your circle may push you toward making safe, conventional choices because it’s easier than venturing into the unknown.

  • Subtle Sabotage: Sometimes, the people closest to you—intentionally or unintentionally—can sabotage your dreams. This isn’t always out of malice; it can stem from their own fears and insecurities. If they see you striving for more, it might make them feel inadequate or threatened, causing them to dissuade you from chasing your goals.

3. Becoming a Beneficiary of Your Dreams

The good news is that you don’t have to be a victim of your circle of influence. You can make the conscious choice to become a beneficiary of your dreams. Here’s how:

  • Assess Your Circle: Take stock of the people you spend the most time with. Are they lifting you up or holding you back? Do they challenge you to grow, or do they reinforce the status quo? Surround yourself with people who inspire, support, and challenge you to pursue your goals. Seek out mentors, peers, or even online communities that share your ambitions and values.

  • Change Your Environment: Sometimes, the most powerful change you can make is in your physical or social environment. If your current environment is suffocating your dreams, find new spaces where your aspirations are celebrated. This could mean changing jobs, joining a mastermind group, or simply spending less time with those who drain your energy.

  • Set Boundaries: You don’t have to cut people out of your life entirely, but you do need to set boundaries with those who consistently discourage or downplay your dreams. Be intentional about the conversations you engage in and the influence you allow into your life. Protect your mental space.

  • Cultivate a Growth Mindset: Your mindset is just as important as your external environment. People who achieve their dreams often operate from a growth mindset—believing that they can develop their abilities through effort and learning. If your circle has conditioned you to think small or play it safe, actively challenge those beliefs and adopt a mindset that embraces learning, resilience, and perseverance.

4. Realizing Your Potential Despite Your Circle

One powerful example of overcoming the circle of influence is the story of Howard Schultz, the former CEO of Starbucks. Schultz grew up in a working-class family in Brooklyn, where the idea of becoming a billionaire entrepreneur was far from his reality. Yet, he was able to break free from the limitations of his upbringing and pursue his vision of building Starbucks into a global brand. Schultz once said, “Dream more than others think practical. Expect more than others think possible.” His story shows that you can rise above your environment, no matter how limiting, and become the beneficiary of your dreams.

In another instance, countless entrepreneurs, artists, and innovators share stories of being told by friends, family, or teachers that their dreams were unrealistic. Yet, those who persist despite the odds are the ones who ultimately benefit from their dreams.

5. Conclusion: Reclaim Your Power

If you find yourself stuck, feeling like a victim of your circle of influence, remember that you hold the power to change that. You can reclaim control by being intentional about who and what influences you. Surround yourself with people and environments that align with your vision, and commit to building the mindset necessary to support your growth.

Your dreams are worth more than the comfort of fitting in. By stepping out of the shadows of your circle’s limitations, you open the door to becoming a true beneficiary of your dreams—living a life that reflects your deepest aspirations and potential.



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